Drunken Musings

There are no cute Pinoys in Dubai...if there are, I've yet to meet them. I've been here for 6 months (and counting) and not once have I met a decent cute Pinoy. Back home, cuties are everywhere...in class, the drugstore, the bookstore, and countless bars. Here, there are none.

Or maybe I'm hanging out at the wrong places, I mused. No, there aren't any here. Period, countered my friend's closet gay cousin. Not wanting to consider white guys (save for Adam), I'm quite disappointed and relieved at the same time. No cuties, no distractions. Coming from a life filled with flirtations and countless conquests, the change is more than welcome. The world, in a weird, sublime way, is answering my need to focus at a different goal. That is, to slowly climb up the ladder to success (if it does, in fact exist).

Last Thursday, I was approached by our female Russian Sales Rep for the sole reason to chat me up and get to know me. I was apprehensive at first, knowing that she went out the previous night with my Boss' wife, but my suspicions were proved wrong and I felt like I was right in my first impression of her. She's this strong, aloof type who comes in when she's supposed to and does overtime without complaints. Our short trip to Office Outlet proved that she was someone who understood my position completely and sympathised with the shit I've been going through.

Racial and gender discrimination does exist, she said. She should know, being in the office longer than me. They're all sexists in the office and you will never be seen more than an open pussy who's emotional as hell and who'd be willing to sleep with anybody when asked to. Case in point, the newest addition to the company - our big boss' girlfriend who used to be a woman of negotiable affections. Her salary's way higher than mine even though she never finished high school. I' d like to give her a chance, the benefit of the doubt, but the prejudice just won't go away. I guess somebody who used to organise hookers for parties can organise major events too.

I miss my friends back home.

I miss being myself, the loud, happy biatch who's never afraid to voice out her opinions and to go after what and who she wants. I miss the freedom of saying what I want and doing what I want without worrying about other people understanding my words and actions. I've been blessed with great friends who know me through and through and would never judge me based on what I said or did. Unconditional understanding and love, THAT is what they've unfailingly given me. Was it wrong for me to leave and to change into the prototype I am now? Or do they like this version better than the last? You've changed a lot, E, but know this...we love you no matter what and who you become. That's the real meaning of friendship, to stick by each other no matter how bad it gets.

With that in mind, I've made my decision...I WON'T go home. I'll go to Australia to start building the blocks of my life there, so I can live a life better than this one. Unknowingly, my friends (and family) have given me an additional boost to move on and progress. Even if it means going further, and farther.

Could this all be drunken musings on a Friday night? In vino veritas, my friends. I believe.

I still love you, Clint. Hah. Tomorrow's going to be another one of those, Darn did I do that? Tsktsk kind of days, ey?