24 and what have I to show for?
Last night, sleep was elusive as my mind went over my years of existence in this life. What have I done so far that makes my existence justifiable or excusable? More importantly, what the hell am I doing here oceans away from the people I love?
My closest friends from various points of my life made an effort to show me how important I am to them by remembering and acknowledging the day I came into this world. One assured me of my ongoing youth, another set a date to meet in New York a year and a half from today, and the last made me feel the genuine love that only true close friends can give.
Our office tea boy gave me my first gift..a piece of candy. It may not seem much but that piece of candy made me feel that it was, in fact, my birthday. I felt more sincerity from the boys in the Warehouse and on site than from the people I initially considered as friends.
Before the show, the Project Manager asked me what my aim in life was. I gave him the answer I knew he wanted to hear. To be like you and R in this industry. It's partially true. The truth is this, I want to be greater than you and R or anyone else in this industry. It may seem too presumptuous or ambitious for other's sensibilities but that is my aim.
With that thought, I realized the answer to my questions. I love what I do and the more effort I exert to reach for the impossible, the more deserving I am to spend those few days with the people I love. The quality of happiness is heightened and broadened as I know that I earned every single minute with them.
What do I have to show for? I'm still here, aren't I in spite and despite of all the hardships I had to go through to get to this day? THAT is what I have to show for.
I'm still standing.
My closest friends from various points of my life made an effort to show me how important I am to them by remembering and acknowledging the day I came into this world. One assured me of my ongoing youth, another set a date to meet in New York a year and a half from today, and the last made me feel the genuine love that only true close friends can give.
Our office tea boy gave me my first gift..a piece of candy. It may not seem much but that piece of candy made me feel that it was, in fact, my birthday. I felt more sincerity from the boys in the Warehouse and on site than from the people I initially considered as friends.
Before the show, the Project Manager asked me what my aim in life was. I gave him the answer I knew he wanted to hear. To be like you and R in this industry. It's partially true. The truth is this, I want to be greater than you and R or anyone else in this industry. It may seem too presumptuous or ambitious for other's sensibilities but that is my aim.
With that thought, I realized the answer to my questions. I love what I do and the more effort I exert to reach for the impossible, the more deserving I am to spend those few days with the people I love. The quality of happiness is heightened and broadened as I know that I earned every single minute with them.
What do I have to show for? I'm still here, aren't I in spite and despite of all the hardships I had to go through to get to this day? THAT is what I have to show for.
I'm still standing.
whispered by E-vil at 10:23 PM
3 Comments:
eve? isdatchu?
loved this entry.
you speak for me, fifi and the rest of the beautiful struggling girls in dubai who could have been living the time of their lives in pinas but choose to be here. and you know what? you've made it sooo much easier for us eve. love you!
PS grabe ka yung chop suey ko!
Belated happy birthday from a cat and a mouse! :-)
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