Uncertainty

There is nothing more frustrating than being on probation. Each and every move is watched, weighed, and noted. Mistakes are magnified. Effort seems to be ignored. One is left floating (and stranded) in a sea of hostility and aloofness. Cheerful hellos and how are yous, sprinkled with friendly chitchat are nothing but code for unspoken raised eyebrows. Where does, and can, one stand?

When you are days aways from a performance evaluation that shall determine your immediate future, how does one allay the fear and insecurity fully encapsulated in the question- What if I'm not good enough?

Confidence and self-esteem are simply not enough when dealing with human beings in the social realm. Even if your output is impeccable, other factors undeniably take precedence. Factors that are never acknowledgd and have no exact criteria, belonging in the abstract plane of emotions. Dare arouse envy and you'll be shown the door. Appear bland and self-conscious and you'll be deemed a weakling who can't handle pressure. How can one gain sure footing in a continually tilting platform?

I suppose the best thing to do is simply ride it out. Stand still. And hope for the best.