Dear Father

As far back as I could remember, you were always NOT around. The first idiomatic expression I learned was, Once in a blue moon, to best tell people how often I get to see you. You went abroad when I was 7. Your absence made little difference, we were already used to you being gone.

I grew up with all I needed and wanted, instead of having you around. You said distance was a price we had to pay for a better life. You'd come home every year or sometimes, every two years, and stay for a month. For a whole month, our house would be filled with your friends, beer, and karaoke songs. For a whole month, you'd be stinking drunk or painfully sober and my sister and I were witnesses to your seemingly endless fights with my mom.

There was something wrong, we all knew it but never spoke a word. My sister and I drowned our doubts in excelling at school, and later on, in partying with questionable characters. We sought the company of men because we never had one in our lives. It was a relentless search for that which we were missing, and we both paid the price of disappoinment.

When you finally had the courage to admit the truth, you expected us to forgive and forget. You have forgotten the real meaning of being a parent, having been wrapped up in that bubble of lies for decades. I wanted to give you a better life, the best education money can buy, the best opportunities at your feet, you argued. You think providing financial support earns you the right to be called a good parent. Alas, there's more to being a father than that.

All is clear now. You wanted freedom and revelled in the lack of actual responsibility. Now that I'm here with you, I slowly discover the kind of person that you are. I try to understand where you're coming from, how you've become so bitter and so disappointed most of the time. I used to think I failed you, that it was my fault, but now I know, you failed us first.

We all have a choice, to decide which path to take. The one you took led you to this, and the path I chose led me to see you like this. I am saddened by what I see but there is nothing I can do to change what has been done. All I can say now is thank you for the lessons I have learned through you, and goodbye.

We have to let you go, free to continue your journey down the chosen path. This is our choice, my choice. We wish to be free too, free of you, free of deceit, free to face the world with our heads held high and say, we are standing on our own and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

We love you, Dad and we know you love us too. But it's time to go our separate ways. You will always be our father, linked to us by blood forever. Perhaps time will do its part, perhaps not. See you around, Dad. You're free now. Be happy. Take care.